everything just stops
by winteredspark
Summary: /"He'll never be Stefan," the little part of my heart loyal to the younger brother hissed. He never needed to be, I realized as Damon's fingers cupped my face and he leaned forward. I love him just the way he is./ Or, the kiss and things unspoken. 3x10.


**e**verything

**j**ust

**s**tops

.

**a/n: That kiss...beautiful. Beautiful. Perfectly in character. Here is my contribution towards the scene; I expect that many more will be posted by other authors(:** **Btw, the conversation in the beginning is about Elena being adopted, if you were confused. **

xx

When I was six years old, I caught my parents sharing a chaste kiss on the deck overlooking the rest of the backyard. My mommy had been angry about something, was screaming big words like _"betrayal"_ and _"illegitimate"_ across the space. My daddy was standing there, back straight, just staring; he wasn't saying anything.

_"How could you?"_ my mommy asked. _"How could you think this is okay?"_

_"Because I love you,"_ my daddy whispered, stepping towards her and gathering her face in his hands. _"She's always going to be our baby, even if she wasn't conceived by us. We're going to love her just as much, if not more." _

Mommy looked at him for a long moment and then kissed him. Her arms wrapped about his neck and his hands framed her face. They kept mumbling something in between kisses, little words I couldn't make out. I was too busy creeping towards the back door into the house. I saw the tears on my daddy's face, too. I'd never seen him cry before.

_"How do you know you love someone?"_ I asked mommy when she came into my room to tuck me in. The undersides of her eyes were red and puffy, and I could see tears drying on her skin; she still looked pretty. She looked happy too.

_"You always forgive them,"_ mommy said at last. She brushed my hair back from my face, tugged the covers up my body. _"They can do the worst things in the world and even if you hate them, you still know you could never live without them, because they add something to your life no one else can."_ She seemed to want to say more, but shut her mouth and kissed my cheek. _"I love you so much, Lena."_ The light clicked off as she disappeared into the hallway, and we smiled at each other.

I realized that the words she and my daddy had been whispering between kisses were _"I love you."_

xx

My eyes were glued to Damon's feet as he began to walk down the front steps away from the porch, away from _me_. I knew what he wanted, what he'd meant; though I'd asked him what he'd meant, I knew he was talking about me. I just didn't want to show him how much that scared me, because before this I'd always had Stefan to use as an excuse, Stefan to resort to whenever I experienced uncertainty or guilt. I hadn't had to worry about how much Damon had changed, how much his looks affected me, when Stefan was around.

And now I was torn, because he was walking away and I wanted him to _stay_. Despite the voices in my head clambering to push him away, despite the growing need to punch him for being such a smart-ass, despite the way I hated him for making it okay to let go of Stefan and _move on, _I didn't think I could go on if I didn't have Damon by my side.

His lips had been so close -

"_No_." Damon's voice sounded from down the steps and I forced back my tears, wondering what he could possibly want, knowing in my heart what I wanted. "No, you know what?" His eyes locked on mine as he took several steps back towards me. I stopped breathing. "If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about _this_."

_He'll never be Stefan_, the little part of my heart loyal to the younger brother hissed.

_He never needed to be_, I realized as Damon's fingers cupped my face and he leaned forward. _I love him just the way he is. _

Our lips met, clumsy, soft, hesitant.

I couldn't seem to find the will to breathe.

The voices in my head s t o p p e d.

A moment later I could feel my heart again, nearly pounding through my rib-cage, out my chest. Damon's lips were still soft against mine and I could feel him pulling away, leaving the place he belonged. _Don't go, _I thought, cupping my hands around his own. _You can't just make me feel like this and leave! _

Our lips parted; I could feel - hear - him breathing and his eyes found mine, searching for something I couldn't give him.

I couldn't fully love him yet, because no matter how hard I tried Stefan was still in the picture. I hated him for putting me in a predicament where I had another option, because now no matter what I chose I would hurt someone. I didn't want to be with Stefan, at least, I didn't think I wanted to be with him. But something was holding me back. I _hated_ Damon for loving me, but the way he was looking at me -

_I think I understand what you meant, mom._

"Good-night," Damon breathed, sending another wave of tingles through me. Then he was gone, slipping into the night, leaving me with my thoughts.

"I think I love you too," I whispered, almost too soft for even my own ears to pick up.

I was smiling as I headed inside, smiling as my head hit the pillow, smiling as I dreamed of his kiss. When I woke - gasping, stumbling, from a nightmare of Stefan's cold eyes - I reached out and met warm, familiar fingers. Damon's lips pressed against my cheek and my grasp on his hand tightened.

_Don't leave, Damon_, I thought as I drifted away. _Not tonight_.


End file.
